How to know the cause of anger

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated orwronged. The feeling isn't the problem—it's what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.If you have a hot temper, you may feel likeit’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast. But you have more control over your anger than you think. Youcanlearn to express your emotions without hurting others—and when you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met. Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more youpractice, the easier it will get. And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.Myths and Facts about AngerMyth: I shouldn’t “hold in” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.Fact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem.Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.Fact:True power doesn’t come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way.Myth: I can’t help myself. Anger isn’t something you can control.Fact:You can’t always control the situationyou’re in or how it makes you feel, but youcancontrol how you express your anger. And youcanexpress your anger without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.Myth: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.Fact:Never getting angry is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come outregardless of how hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlyingfeelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.